Well doggies my name is Earl Ruffansore and I want you to vote for for my buddy ROY DOE in 2008.

Verse 4.3

And did the still glow in the hideous moonlight, the fire, low smoking brown. And did Bigfoot, who is smelly and large, drink from the well of life and puketh the swill upon the ground.

from the Dog Scrolls Verse 4.78

BOOK OF DOE

BOOK OF DOE
CHAPTER 998.666
Verse 37 3/8

In the elder years, when the earth was cold and bare, Roy Doe came upon the scene, with his broken-toothed smile and his broken mind.

The sun was rising fast now. Roy woke with his drooling mouth crusted shut. He strutted and yawned, his breath a green fog rising through the trees mixing with the sour odor of the shine mash, wafting it’s sour acrid scent on the stagnant air.

“Godamity”, muttered Roy,”mash is almost ready”.

Roy was in the middle of distilling a very large batch of “shine”. He had “bills”. He had “obligations”. Shine would put them right...

Hiedi looked out the dirty window, noticing the brown truck coming fast down the dirt track.

“Mama, Unkle Roy is back...”

“Why the hell is he here, now!!!???”, screamed Ella, Heidi’s mother.

‘I think he’s drunk mama” said heidi as she took a drag off her Kool cigarette.

“DANMN he’s always causing trouble round here...”

At that, the dogs began to howl and moan. The door banged 4 times and opened. A graying, greasy head poked in flashing a crooked, green smile.

“Howdy folks”, shouted Roy.

A big smelly sheepdog jumped up to meet the visitor...

“Skeeter, get the hell down off his leg’, screamed Heidi.

The toilet flushed.

“Here comes Maury, by golly, she won’t like this one bit”, said Ella, taking a long drag off her filterless marlboro.

Maury came into the room from out of the hall, a used tampon in her hand, ‘Hiedi you cunt, you used my last kotex!!! fuckin bitch bastard hell...”! she stopped and looked towards the door, where Roy was standing.
The kotex went flying and it seemed to Heidi that it flew in a dreamy, slow-motioned way, as it careened towards her Unkle Roy...
SPLAT went the tampon dead center on uncle Roy's face.

“MOTHERFUCKER MOTHERFUCKER GOD damned SUN OF A BITCHIN BASTARD COCKSUCKER WHORE!!!!!!!!!” said Maury,”ROY... git the hell out or I’ll kill you cocksucker!!!!”.

“Now Maury”, exclaimed Roy, his face dripping red, ‘it’s been a year since the ‘in-cedent” and I, for one, think we can be friends again”, a rusty frying pan went flying past Roy’s head.

“FUCK YOU bastard”, howled Maury, as she lit one of Heidi’s Kool cigarettes.

Heidi looked at her sister with anger in her eye,“Maury them is my Kools and I didn’t say you could have one...”.

“Fuckin’ shit Heidi you took my smokes before...you are a fuckin bitchin whore,” croaked Maury.

Ella had had enough and shouted,“SHUT THE GODAMN HELL UP, SHUT THE HELL UP ALL OF YOU!!!”.

A queer silence fell over the dank brown house.
Roy coughed-up a brown loogie, breaking the second long silence.

‘Seems to me’, quiped Roy,”that you all need some shine, you see me and “Blind” Bob just finished a batch of Bigfoot’s delight and well’, Roy then spit, pulled a dirty brown earthenware jug from his coat and held it up to the yellow 20-watt bulb hanging over his head,”jest try some will ya?”.

“Oh Unkle Roy, I’m sorry, give me a drink”, sobbed Maury, the ash from her kool burning her brown shirt.

A doggie barked and threw up.

Amen

Verse 4.3

And did the sun black out the moon and in Doetown did the doggies howl and from the creek came a smoke and smell of urine and did the blind one fall and stub his foot for he was blind and drunk like the lord of the Doe.

from the Dog Scrolls Verse 4.3

Welcome to MacJournal!

Use the Journals toolbar item to see your journals, and use the Entries item to see the entries for that journal. You can delete this entry to get started (or just make a new one).

I hope you enjoy using MacJournal!

bonnie

Bonnie has caught the distemper and mama says she will never bark again cause the vet had to rip out her infected vocal chords and part of her tongue too.-Heidi Holst

About The Book Of Doe

THE BOOK OF DOE is a rough translation from Old Norse and Aramaic and is lifted from "SMITHY'S SAGA" and "THE DOG SCROLLS".

Chapter I: And so it had begun...

In Doetown dwelt he who was Roy Doe and did he live in squalor and death did hover over him as a fly upon a dunghill and did Roy Cry out, "oh, Lord hear my voice and see my breath for I loathe of the doggies and cannot drink with them."